you two drink too much coffee

the white mugs
and white bowls
seem a bit sterile
like hotel tableware
with cheap tea bags
disguised in lemon
i feel awkward
in the silence

i've been running for too long

eventually
i will run far enough
fast enough
that you will not catch me

first day of my life

the purest declaration of love:
touched myself thinking of you

too much

too much of a coward to be a cheat
too much of a victim to be a fuck up
too much of not anything at all

this is what i am
scream to the rooftops
until i believe it too

too much of a conceptual error
too much of all the wrong things
too much of not enough

so sad

i don't feel so well

100 dollars blow
the glamour life
skinny, passed out
god knows how

i don't feel so well

i had a dream
i woke up
i was ruining myself
i woke up
i was ruining myself

i don't feel so well

no money no tattoo
too much of everything
the wrong things
god knows why

i don't feel so well

haiku

i stared into the abyss
secondhand embarrassment
made the abyss look away

daydream

i sleep
eyes lip
asleep
as i leap

that wet sensation behind the eyes

a China doll
in a bulldozer
a toreador
in China
i am a
breakable
wreck

you're mistaken but i know

your love is a lie
grossly exaggerated
like every other love
i've ever known

your feelings of love
a blanket for the cold
in a needed time
that won't cover me

you found me
and used me
as your light
putting off
my very own

the exile

i must
pay
for my sins
heavy stones
thrown
must carry
on my own

mister
do i look like
the kind of girl
who has answers?

i won't
stay
for my kin
i've done
wrong
must go
alone

silence

what if he wants you to
let your hair longer
or shave your pits
stop being so sad
or drunk or both
to calm down
be nice
speak
low
.
.
.

epileptic dreams

four contractions
she hadn't known
she was pregnant
a rat sized foetus