toaster bath

your love is a feeling
it's an electrical surge
you shock me
paralyze me
now me
i want eternal devotion
i want to be chosen each and every day
over everything else in the world
i'm a bathtub full of water

bored, confined, obsessed: chasing my own tail

i'm sorry
my mouth smells of wine
when i kiss your brother on the cheek
i can't hold my purple stained tongue
wrong words spilling out
i can't catch myself
joyfully running
from myself

obstetric violence

the world cut my umbilical chords
i keep trying to tie back but no
a ceasarean with gaping wounds

the trees have eyes

the lioness sits on the corner
and receives the attention
while the chimpanzee
pirouettes around to room
to get it

i'll go the distance but lose the sight

i'll finish this glass and go
get dressed in the dark now
pretend i was never here
leave the door open for me

every last one is the worst one
cause i bring the worst on my own
and the tricks that worked before
well love they don't work no more

you do well to distrust me dear
mix devotion with a dose of fear
because i'm set out to destroy
what could cause me great joy

teenage lobotomy yeah

womb to tomb
sadness and i
lifelong
sadness and i

everyday
i put the nail to my head
and hammer
everyday
i take a scalpel to my brain
and operate

no anesthesia
i'm already numb
just take the fire away

they called her fury

a 5 year old tyrant
keeps my mind dormant
holds my mind hostage
and won't let me go

mom
i don't
feel so
well

i struggle between the bars
pop my head out sometimes
air my thoughts for a while
then back to the death row

mom

i need

pink

medicine

i believe in change, but sometimes my pockets are full

i laugh like there's no tomorrow
riding the roller coaster or
drowning in a bathtub of sorrow

there was so much more than this
but i forgot to pay the electric bill
whatever, some are blind from birth

when life gives you ashes, wait
maybe a phoenix will come to life
let's hope it won't be too late

10%

when you died
i started noticing funeral homes
i had never known how many there were
i had never known how many had fallen
sisters and brothers
mothers and fathers
all these open caskets
and kissed goodbyes
i hadn't known
i had sight but i didn't see
and when i tried to see
i had become blind

hipomnesis

every day there is more food
and less people in my house
first my mom was gone
so i make the lemon pie
then my dad does
so i make soup with spice
now my brother goes
recipes disarrayed
did i poison them?
did i leave the oven door
open by mistake?
it was an accident
i hope

it's turtles all the way down

the problem with tradition is that it's always changing
it's pulling itself out of the mire by its own hair
it's molting by growing too big for its skin
the river flows from springs eternal
into the ocean then skies above
precipitates or snows
it is all one to me

but you
you might never know
what the future holds
so think about death
five minutes a day
it will cure you

a neurochemical con job

love
oh love
loveee
lʌv
i wished for you
you didn't come

put the world on mute

i won't ask for what i want
'cause i'm afraid i'll get it
and it'll be the death of me

pospone my date with sorrow
til another crueler tomorrow
finds me worse than dead

behind a silent sullen face
hides million small mistakes
all combined into a big one